On the Rocks

The day’s been long
Do you think of me? I'm right beside you reading the news
Take to playing you a tune

While we’re here alone
It's a rarity
Before we’re out to dine with usual suspects
On the rocks for me please
I’ll get the fish
You’ll get the beef
Ask for well done cause you’re not someone
Who handles blood on anything

Oh I could just be hating how a Friday feels this tame
How I miss my replete days
And the goosebumps on my thighs
Oh I am just complaining, know we got our gentle ways
But I miss my messy life
And the never-knowing nights

The ice melts slow
The dinners fast
Pull the car out front
And buckle up
No directions needed back

Now we’re alone again
A couple minutes pass
Before I get to talking about how often
Nothing changes like the past

Oh I could just be chasing what the years don’t give me back
But I miss my reckless heart, And the thrill of losing track
Oh I'm not done with changing, know you might agree with that
But it's a practice and a pact
Recognizing patterns' lack

Not long ago
You’d read aloud to me
Now it sounds strange
Trying to make that happen

Be honest though,
Would you rather me leave? I won’t regress
To my past cold habits
I’ll stick with fish as long as we work past this
I’ll sing real quiet while you read what’s happening

before dawn

Stay

Because you want to
Stay

Because you never do

Time wasted on driving over
Time wasted on you

Something's going on
I can't help myself from checking your phone
I can't help myself from egging you on
I can't help myself
So help me move on

Something's going on
I can't help myself from proving you wrong
I burn bridges that you're not even on
I can't help myself
So leave before dawn

Pray
That's what I better do
Pray
That's what I ask of you

Takes the edges
Smooths them over
Makes us something new

Something's going on
I can't help myself from checking your phone
I can't help myself from egging you on
I can't help myself
So help me move on

Something's going on
I can't help myself from proving you wrong
I burn bridges that you're not even on
I can't help myself
So leave before dawn

So help me move on
So leave and be gone
So help me so god
Some things carry on
So help me move on
So leave before dawn
So leave before dawn

Dragonfly

It came up out of nowhere
The dragonfly landed on my knee and stayed there
I marveled thinking I could be its savior
But honestly I'm thinking of last night

We're moving to the dance floor
Your hands are on me — what more could I ask for?
It makes me wanna, makes me wanna ask more

I wonder when you're heading out
Well I want this
But this is just a movie in my head
And the moment is lovely but it rarely screens again

I'll be over it by lunchtime
The agonizing feeling of a good night
With you and me and all the unrehearsed lines

I wonder where you're heading now
Maybe I should redirect it
I'll see you in another life or something —
That line people use when everything's so sudden

No one likes an honest ending
Well I want this
But this is just a movie in my head
And the moment is lovely but it rarely screens again

Matched the feeling of the dragonfly that'll leave me any second
And that's what you did
You left me without telling
Which is fine, but now I think about it often

Fleeting flutters only feed me repercussions

Thoughts After Dinner

The Corner

I forget to follow direction
If I'm right, I'll probably go left
I'm standing in front of your house
I'm breathing in, I can't breathe out
I'm sleeping in your house
How stories bend to friends now
I'm wide aware of how I sound
I'll shield you from the fallout
I'll admit the music is too loud
In a dress I shouldn't have worn out

What'd life be like
With no doubt
I'm wide aware of how I sound
The righteousness of your mouth
It just breathes in and breathes out
It just breathes in and breathes

I must be slowing you down
Like the stoplight in your hometown
On your way to a lookout
With people you give one more shit about
I can't act how I always did
We break up with ourselves as kids

Tell me if you want this
I'm not saving it
I'll just learn to miss
You dearly
Your love
You nearly destroyed me

You're right 'round the corner
Your shadow, it's colder
I wanted you more before this
I'm standing in front of your house
I'm breathing in, I'm breathing out
Won't hold my breath for you now
Won't hold my breath for you now

When You Wake

So nice to meet you
What do you think about taking the sea view
Room with a queen for two
People just talking about how the feelings new
Hiding in plain sight
I've heard the stories about meeting up late night
You'd never ask me but seems like a good time
What's going on in that mind

I've got my bed made for you just to sleep
Won't do anything
Turn away while I read
If you want me to sing I will sing about how I want to take you walking
When you wake

Wait for me Sunday
I've got a plan for us
Then maybe someday
You'll pack the lunches
I'll make note when you say
What kind of love you want
I'll mention your name over a drink with a friend from the old days
She's not surprised when I tell her that I'd say I knew you in a past age

I've got my bed made for you just to sleep
Won't do anything
Turn away while I read
If you want me to sing I will sing about how I want to take you walking
When you wake up
When you wake up

Beach Read

By the beach I sat every morning
Where my tears came and went like waves
Should a friend always come with a warning
That everything they mend they can break

Through screens I saw my reflection
Each day in paradise invited pain
How could I be so upset
I need a vacation from my own brain

Summer said she would be underwhelming
Didn't know there's relief in the rain
Then again got real close with my family
And had the sand to hold

When I would start slipping
Again
Oh the pain in your eyes when I told you
That I knew what you did

I'm not one to forget but I will forgive
I just need a minute
Just a minute

Now I think that I learned my lesson
That a friend can be caught in the wake
When I left my family vacation
I had lost you

But I found myself
Again
I had lost but I had found myself
Again

Indisposition

I don't wanna fight
Don't wanna ruin our only night
Together
In the same place

It's rare that I see you here
When's the last time
You held my face
Take away my fear

May just not be our year and all
Will flow down the river
I am filled with salt
I am filled to the brim

I've been holding all
My indisposition
Learning to fall out of rhythm
Is turbulent
Nobody's songs understand
But I'm listening
Oh oh
Oh oh

Wood someone's cutting down trees
Would you fall down for me
If all
I needed was some shelter

Hypotheticals
What a weak use of time
We're the literal
I'll just follow the signs

Learning to fall out of rhythm
Is turbulent
Nobody's songs understand
But I'm listening
Oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh

Sunday

I'm high in the bathroom again
I'm finding things in my reflection
I hear my future waiting on the other side of the door
Somebody's bound to break in
And read me at my lowest point

I can't put a finger on it
I'm more together than before
I'm coasting
Feeling like I've lost all hope in
Everything that don't come running
To my fingertips
Or something

Is wrong with me it might be nothing
Or maybe I've just lost all motive
Or something

Sunday's for feeling again
Erase my sins from days before
Oh me and religion aren't friends
It guilts me more I enjoy
The days blur into one
As I become nocturnal
Aversion to the sun
I guess I've come undone

I'm coasting
Feeling like I've lost all hope in
Everything that don't come running
To my fingertips
Or something

Is wrong with me it might be nothing
Or maybe I've just lost all motive
Or something

I've lost it
The motive
Alone and all I know is
Repentance
On Sunday
I pray for better days
I'm tied up
I'm thrown out
I'm higher at home now
I'm thinking about how life could turn on me now

I'm coasting
Feeling like I've lost all hope in
Everything that don't come running
To my fingertips
Or something

Is wrong with me it might be nothing
Or maybe I've just lost all motive
Or something

Remote Control

I'm not ready to talk about the things you know I hold too close
I’m starting to see the likeness
Do you care to explain to me
How we got to where we are
No I wasn't trying to be helpless

Summer doesn't like me anyways
And I hate the rain
Lately I'm not feeling anything
About anything

And I don't care about the way you love me
Always happy to return your call
Then I think about the ways that you say sorry
The problems always shoved under the rug
And I feel stupid
Because you want me to be someone
Controlled by your thoughts
Controlled by your thoughts

I'd take you up to the mountains and I'd warm your hand in mine
You're more used to the cold than me though, right?
Everything becomes hidden under snow
It's mostly beautiful
The truth comes out when the leaves begin to show

But I don't care about the way you love me
Always happy to return your call
Then I think about the ways that you say sorry
The problems always written on the wall
And I feel stupid because you want me to be someone
Controlled by your thoughts
Controlled by your thoughts
Controlled by your thoughts

The House

Staring out the window
Wondering if this had been premeditated
How you leave all of the sudden
Can't explain it
I'm burning my hands in the sink
Some kind of innuendo
Have I done something to make you disappointed

Seems we've come to our conclusions
And our judgement
Is closer than we like to think

The politics of being someone who yearns for more in different ways
The lives that we'll live apart but come back just the same

But we know
We're not our parents
We know
We act more like children

Feelings towards my studies
Always complicate the best of conversation
See you turn your head away at
My vocation
It's a phase I am made to believe

And what about our parents
The only thing they agree on is us
How long 'till we are like them
And which one will we become

The politics of being someone who yearns for more in different ways
The lives that we will live apart but come back just the same

But we know
We're not our parents
We know
We act more like children

We know
We know

There is something about a sibling
I can't help myself from analyzing
Are we supposed to be closer while we're getting older
Do I even know ya
How do you spend your days we used to share a hallway
We've still got our last name
And I'd like to get to know ya
At every age

Moon/Sun

When the sun goes down and the moon comes out
And it's a perfect half, almost makes me laugh
That there's a thing that just shines down on us
Whether we notice or not, that's the thing with us
We get so used to what's in front
When the love runs out and I lose your touch
Though it once was there, it feels like it never was
Do you think there's only one for me, one for us
Like the moon and sun, we only meet at dawn and dusk
Natural thing to think, but we should think what we have's enough
You're a quiet loud, like a loaded gun
You will hunt me down, till the morning comes
Taunt me in my dreams, I'm scared to sleep, it's ominous
Like the moon and sun, you never leave from high above
I'll accept defeat, cause you'll never leave, I'm not strong enough
In my head I think that you'll never leave, so I'll live with us
Can't escape the natural things, like losing touch and love
Always comes the moon and sun and dreams and thoughts of us

Honestly

No one's being honest with me
Someone grace me with honesty
Honestly
I can't imagine the life I would possibly lead
Hopefully
I'm not too far from the person I'm trying to be

No one can take out the anger
I'm saving up for me
Learning to love an old stranger always starts out lonely
I'm trying to be
Less concerned with what I think of me

Tossed out of the bar
Never been this far out of line
Can't get comfortable
Forgetting how I got in bed last night
I'm a child

I'll try and hide all the shit I don't want you to seek
To my surprise
You see right through me and guess what
You've already seen
What I mean

No one can take out the anger
I'm saving up for me
Learning to love an old stranger always starts out lonely
I'm trying to be
Less concerned with what I think of me

I'm tired of starting it over
I'm tired of being myself
I'm tired of taking the trash out
I'm tired of not asking for help
I miss being loved and relied on
I miss you for asking for help
Without you I'm stuck with a stranger
That I know a little too well
See this is where all the roads turn
I'm never good on my own terms
I'll learn to love without your words
I'll take it up with my own hurt

Runner’s High

Looking three feet ahead
I've been breaking a sweat
All my muscles are tense
I'm doing hard things now

Feet come first when I walk
Rather not think a lot
Conversations get lost
I'm doing hard things now

I'm weaving through
The damn ravine
Steep walls surround me
I'm speeding through

The bitter valley
The sun she scorched me
But it's not what it looks like
I'm in love with moving my life

Across the country I've got hills to climb
I've got runner's high
I've been baking the bread
Simple's overrated
Try my sweet honey wine
I've been taking my time

You could come and meet me
Take a walk on Main Street
Parking here's always free
It's so hard but easy

I'm weaving through the damn ravine
Steep walls surround me
I'm speeding through the bitter valley
The sun she scorched me
But it's not what it looks like
I'm in love with moving my life

Across the country I've got hills to climb
I've got runner's high

I'm not homesick
When I've got new streets to notice
And my phone sits
On my bedside you should call it
'Cause I do miss
Being right there with my father
He would solve it
I could solve it